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The little known history of the sub-species Trumpus Ignoramus (thanks Ricky)
ReplyDeleteMany eons before the Neanderthal Man walked the earth during the paleolithic period, a species of ugly Blubber fish that lived in the muddy shore waters of the ocean literally fin-wiggled their way onto shore and started a slow evolution to what we now acknowledge as the President of the United States. On the warm sand of the coastal beaches, their white flesh turned a flame-colored orange and is a distinct characteristic of the present species. Eventually developing arms and legs, they never the less remained quadrupeds, scampering about in their caves on knees and knuckles searching for food and sex. In this aspect they were invariably unsuccessful as all the other species at that time avoided them. Incest and inbreeding led to their species becoming severely brain damaged, the result being that time and evolution left them behind and they faded from history. A few survived...
400,000 years pass and Trumpus Ignoramus miraculously appears in Northern Europe, standing out from the other species with their coloring which now is achieved with rubbing the sap of the Orange hibiscus on their face and neck. After living in the dark caves during their lifetimes, their skin had returned to the pallid white genetic mutation of their forefathers, the blubberfish.
Sometime in the 19th century, one of the species was born in Bavaria and later sired a male child in Bronx, NY, who in turn sired a male child who was born in 1946. As stated earlier in this document, the evolution of this sub-species as been excruciatingly slow and the physical and mental characteristics are still apparent: the bloated physique, the blubbering nonsense emanating from his tiny anus-looking piehole, the ashen skin now covered in a facial bronzer from a major cosmetics company called Trump Tangerine; still obsessed with sex, still rejected except for porn stars and underage girls.
One puzzling aspect of this sub-species is the fact that somehow he managed to fool a majority of voters with his brash nonsense and nincompooperism and charmed them into voting for him not once but twice. History is fluid and is still being written about this creature that evolution has left in the dust. His legacy stained beyond recognition, his family eventually besmirched, his cronies and puppet masters fate unknown at this time. On the day of the dedication of the Obama Presidential Library, one wonders what the Trumpus Ignoramus Library will resemble. Would the entrance resemble a large puckered rectum where so many people in his party have taken up residence? Would the interior feature thousands of empty book shelves, all but one holding four books: "Fun with Dick and Jane," "The Little Engine That Could," "Clifford the Big Red Dog," and his "Art of the Deal(Steal)." Would the displays feature red stains on a wall with ketchup bottles on the floor beneath and all the tasteless, tacky gold ornamentation that diminishes the prestige of the Oval Office that the next president and his administration will surely rip from the walls on day 1? We can only hope.
Milleson - Wow, what a comment!
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