These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares' responses were spontaneous.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be.
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels (rough/tough bikers) wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard at this answer that it took up almost 15 minutes of the show! Not "canned laughter" like most shows today.)
It's a shame we lost Paul Lynde, he was always risque.
ReplyDeleteGF - Yeah, I really liked him.
ReplyDeleteI just had a good laugh too. Thanks to you (and them).
ReplyDeleteReminds me of that line Mae West is credited with: "Is that a gun in your pocket ore are you just happy to see me?"
I remember watching that show. It was really funny. Rose Marie and Paul Lynde were especially.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how racy they could be in those days and how much more clever they were at being so compared to today.
ReplyDeleteAnon @2:49pm - Yeah, they weren't quite as uptight back then.
ReplyDelete