Boehner Advises Americans To Delay Getting Cancer For A Year
Posted by Andy Borowitz
“We’re involved in a high-stakes fight over our freedom from centralized government control of our lives,” said Mr. Boehner, speaking on behalf of his House colleagues. “You can do your part by delaying getting cancer.”
He added that heart disease, emphysema, and diabetes were among a laundry list of conditions that would be “patriotic to avoid for a year.”
“If you delay getting any of these things for the next twelve months, together we will win this fight,” he said.
In closing, he reassured the American people that in the event of a government shutdown, members of Congress’ health benefits would remain intact: “We want to be in tip-top shape to continue to do the excellent job we’re doing for you.”
I'd say that Boehner (may he rest in peace....soon) is an idiot, but that would be an insult to idiots.
ReplyDeleteThat's alright then.
ReplyDeleteHonestly what a PRICK.
[and not in a good way].
... and the (dead) beat goes on..
ReplyDeleteI have wanted to know, for years, how he keeps his (fake orange) tan if he's constantly in his office. He needs a better spray tan product.
ReplyDelete