Post-6955...

Thanks Jerry and Glenn!

Jewish Elbow

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her home to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front of the building and I am in apt 301. There is a big panel on the front door. Push the button for 301 with your elbow and I will buzz you in.

“The elevator is on the right and you push the button for the third floor with your elbow.

“When you get out, my apartment is to the left. Push the door bell with your elbow and I will let you in. OK?"

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I using my elbow to push the buttons?"

"You're coming empty handed?"



Jewish Samurai

Once upon a time, a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Chinese Samurai, a Japanese Samurai, and a Jewish Samurai.

"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor to the first one.

The Chinese Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his Samurai sword and *swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!

"What a feat!" said the Emperor.

"Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do."

The Japanese Samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his Samurai sword and *swish!*swish!* The fly fell to the floor, neatly quartered.

"That is skill!" nodded the Emperor.

"How are you going to top that, Number Three Samurai?"

The Jewish Samurai - Obi-wan Cohen - stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing one fly. He drew his Samurai sword and *swooosh!*, flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!

In disappointment the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead."

"Dead?" replied the Jewish Samurai! "Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!"